Addiction to Dates

by taylorglad

I have recently accepted my addiction to dates. Often, I have had the pleasure of multiple dates a day. The first step was telling the people closest to me what was happening right in front of their faces, but behind closed doors. Admitting my obsession out loud gave me the opportunity to hear myself actually say it, to face the truth. I love eating dates.

Yes, I’m talking about dates, yummy food dates, not dates with women and men (although, those are definitely my actual favorite dates). Dates that let you rip their skin right off the bone, or the pit, and salivate over the sweet thickness and taste as icing on cake, with the texture of a fat, tender raisin.  

Considering how many dates I’ve consumed instead of eating an actual lunch, they must be my favorite fruit. There’s no other explanation for my joyful, not to mention delicious, exposure to a plate of dates, other than they must have sneaked passed apples and become my new favorite, or I’m simply addicted. 

So, to sort of cleanse myself from this addiction I decided to turn it into something productive. I looked online for gluten-free and vegan recipes (my roommate’s gluten-free, I’m vegan) that involve dates. I instantly found a recipe for Vegan, Paleo, Date Energy Balls. Score!

Dates come heavily loaded with vitamins, minerals, and fiber, and contain calcium, iron, potassium, magnesium, and other bad-ass good-health essentials. Instead of looking hott for your date, look hott by eating a date–dates are great for muscle development. Mainly, dates provide relief from certain health issues, like constipation, intestinal disorders, sexual dysfunction, heart problems, anemia, diarrhea, abdominal cancer, and list goes on. Did I mention they’re yummy as sin?

I made these today. Even if you’re not in love with dates to the moon and back like I am, you can still make this tasty dream a reality.

Here is the Detoxinista’s recipe for Date Energy Balls:

Prep time:  15 mins
Total time:  15 mins
Serves: 24 (depending on size)
A quick and easy treat, perfect for snacking!
  • 2 cups walnuts, or other nut/seed of choice
  • 1 cup shredded unsweetened coconut
  • 2 cups soft Medjool dates, pitted
  • 2 tablespoons coconut oil
  • 1 teaspoon sea salt
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  1. In a large food processor fitted with an “S” blade, process the walnuts and coconut until crumbly. Add in the dates, coconut oil, vanilla and sea salt and process again until a sticky, uniform batter is formed.
  2. Scoop the dough by heaping tablespoons, then roll between your hands to form balls. Arrange them on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper, then place in the freezer to set for at least an hour before serving. Store the balls in a sealed container in the fridge for up to a week, or in the freezer for a longer shelf life.
  3. For a gourmet-looking truffle, you could also roll them in shredded coconut or cocoa powder before chilling (didn’t do this myself, but they still taste as great as they look)!


Well, there ya go universe. I hope now that I’ve faced my delicious demons (because too much of anything can be a bad thing), I can move on and start to exercise dating like a normal person. That I assume is moderately, but still with the same intensely beautiful craving for the next great mouthful.

As for my actual human dates, they are all very nice people. I am excited to share with them something I have made. I hope they like my balls.