When does romance become a mistake? I’m not referring to flowers or holding the door open. In the modern world of dating, things are not always as cut and dry as, “yes, we are in a committed monogamous relationship.” Instead, we’ve got flings, affairs, open relationships, caring lovers who will never settle down. Romance doesn’t have to be an act. Romance can be a description of something you have with someone else. Here’s the beef: if someone outside of the relationship gets hurt, should the romance never have happened? That’s what an old flame said to me after we broke a few hearts before realizing that we weren’t going to be together. I’ll admit, it sounds harsh.
The old saying goes, “it’s better to have love and lost then to never have loved at all.” What an exquisite thought! But what if the love isn’t love? What if it’s a meaningful affair? Or casual sex that turns intimate? Are our feelings of affinity and affection, the very feelings that make us human, something we should deprive ourselves of or blame ourselves for?
I’m a lover, not a fighter. To help keep the peace, I strive to be very open, always honest, and good ole-fashioned ethical when it comes to my love life, sex life, life, however you want to undress it. The ethics have played a more prominent role since the old flame and the broken hearts. To deny the heart is to refuse flight. Like a bird that will not fly, a heart that rejects love (and lust) is already broken.